Cherishing Baseball Wins and Grandparents
Watching the Cubs win the World Series the other day was so awesome and exciting, but it was also bittersweet. Sweet because it was such a historic win, long overdue of about 108 years, by a baseball team that I grew up watching with my father (my daughter’s grand father) for several of those years. Bitter because my Father, a huge (every Chicago team) sports fan, was not here physically to witness and share in the victory. It has brought so many fond memories of him spending time with my daughter and being the man in her life because her father was not. My father passed away when she was 5 years old due to lung cancer, but it was beautiful to watch the magnificent relationship that they developed in the short time they had together.
He did activities with her that I never remember him dong with my siblings and I. He loved her (and she him) and enjoyed spending time with her. I believe that she gave him just as much joy and love that he provided her while he struggled with the devastating and debilitating battle with lung cancer. The love and bond they shared helped provide him with the desire and heroic fight to surpass the time limit that he originally received at diagnosis by almost 3 years.
It was a pleasure to watch the connection and true friendship they shared. He loved all kinds of sports and any sport on TV he was watching; baseball, basketball, football, golf, soccer, hockey, wrestling. My daughter enjoyed watching wrestling of all things with him and knew the names of all the big-time WWE wrestlers. One of their main activities of choice was to watch WWE /wrestle mania, only second to playing what they called “kitchen”, where she pretended to cook delicious meals for him that he pretended to eat and thoroughly enjoy. They were too cute!
Grandparents are important in our children’s lives. Especially as single parents, Granddad can be a surrogate for an absent father for both boys and girls. It helps them deal with and possibly lessen those emotions of hurt, anger and abandonment that stem from not having their father around. Providing them with the love, attention and male perspective of everything that a mom cannot. This is such a gift in addition to baby-sitting or Grand-sitting play dates. That’s what grandparents do they have fun play-dates with their grandkids. They are the good guys, they get to love on the grand-kids and let them “get away with things” they normally would not or would never have allowed us to as their children. They get to enjoy not being the “heavy” and simply just ENJOY their grandchildren without a lot of strict discipline.
Grand-moms, also known as “Nanny”, “Nan-na”, “Glam-mas”, Glam-Divas”, Big-Mama and many others loving nicknames, love spoiling the kids and they know it. Most times, depending on the relationship, they know they can get away with anything with “Grandma”. They learn to cook, bake, make things, and the girls get to do girly things and go shopping. My mom has been “clutch” with being there for her granddaughter and I, even when I, instinctively being Ms. Independent/Super Mom didn’t want to ask for help. Asking or allowing people to help you is something that single parents struggle with because we get so used to doing it alone and are not instinctively used to letting people help us (which is another post later on). She has always made herself available whenever I needed her (or didn’t know I did)) for babysitting, shopping, picking up, attending events, transportation drop-offs, or just being the wing-woman so I wouldn’t be the only person at the event without a date (husband).
I am so happy that I provided them with the opportunity to be grandparents because it has been awesome for them all. My daughter only had one set of grandparents that she spent time with, because the fraternal grandma didn’t like me, she never took the time to get to know her granddaughter which was really her loss. She missed out on the opportunity of getting to know how wonderful her granddaughter is and so much joy she could have had added into her life. Such is life and we move on.
Single parents need support and grandparents are excellent at this job and should always be a part of your “village people”. The only exception is if they are abusive, neglectful or mentally unstable and unavailable. Other than that children need to spend time with their “Grands.” They learn about the family history and they have so much wisdom to share. They most importantly fill them up with so much unconditional love, affection and sincere loving attention as surrogate parents. They help each other and it helps you out because they are with someone that you know and trust. If you are angry with your parents and they love and adore your children and treat them well, don’t let your children suffer by limiting their time together. Everyone involved will regret it. Grandparents are important in kids’ lives and the grandkids are important to them. So cherish the relationships and the memories to be made while you can.